How Do You Even Talk About It?

“I didn’t know how to bring it up…”

ED has a way of creeping into relationships quietly. Not with a big bang, but with a slow withdrawal—less eye contact, fewer hugs, more space between you in bed. You might not even realise how much you’ve started to pull back until things feel… off. You don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to make a big deal. So you say nothing.

But silence builds walls. And those walls are hard to climb over later.

You might think staying quiet protects your partner from feeling rejected or blamed. But in most cases, the opposite is true—they end up feeling confused, insecure, or even like they’ve done something wrong.

Most people don’t care what the issue is—they care that you’re honest

You don’t need a script. You don’t need to explain everything perfectly. You just need to break the ice.

Try something simple like: “I’ve been feeling a bit off lately and it’s been affecting things in the bedroom. I didn’t want to worry you, but I realise I’ve been shutting you out.”

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Just real.

Most partners aren’t looking for a solution on the spot—they just want to feel like they’re in it with you. The hard part isn’t the condition. It’s the silence.

You’re allowed to need help

ED is common. Seriously common. It affects more people than you'd think—and not just older men either. Stress, anxiety, hormones, sleep, lifestyle, medication... it can come from anywhere.

What matters isn’t that it showed up—it’s how you deal with it.

You don’t need to “man up” and figure it out alone. You don’t need to pretend everything’s fine. You don’t need to be ashamed. You’re allowed to be vulnerable. You’re allowed to ask for support. And you’re allowed to say: “I think I need some help with this.”

Talking is step one. That’s it.

There are a lot of things that might help—from medication to therapy to small lifestyle changes. But none of it starts without the first conversation. That moment where you say: “This has been bothering me. Can we talk about it?”

It might feel scary. But it’s also a relief. Because when you stop hiding, you open the door to real connection again. You get to face it as a team, not alone. And sometimes, that alone changes everything.